NEW Toolkit: Out of the Gender Maze
A former "trans" kid's essential guide for parents
In 2012, at the age of twelve, I began identifying as transgender.
I thought I would stay that way forever.
Instead of affirming me, my parents installed spyware on my iPad, which would alert them of my every search. The spyware made the machine so slow, it was functionally unusable (it was the oldest model without the camera, a relic of a different time).
When, at nineteen, it became clear that I was continuing to persist in my transgender identity, my parents established clear boundaries which were tied to continued financial support through my studies.
The conditions were that:
I would not medicalize
I would study abroad for a year in a non-Western country which had not yet been invaded by gender ideology. (Read more about that journey in the post below).
By all measurable metrics, my parents did everything right as per the “non-affirmation playbook” which would not even be drafted for another decade. They acted on their parental instincts in regards to my declaration at a time years before other parents would be faced with the same dilemma.
Yet, I remained “trans” identified for half of my life, from ages twelve to twenty-four.
Before my twenty-fifth birthday, I began to realize that gender ideology was built on a stack of lies and false premises and managed to escape my mystical gender journey with my body in tact, albeit permanently damaged from years of binding with a so-called ‘safe’ binder and-my mind still trying to process the last half of my life.
I am the product of the non-affirming parents whose tactics I used to fight against, but am now grateful for. While I do not have the silver bullet that will get your kids to desist, I do have some thoughts from the perspective of a kid who used to be in your child’s position:
In the era of the chosen ‘glitter family,’ I often hear from desperate parents contacting me saying something along the lines of “the trans cult stole my child. What should I do?”
That’s why I created this parents’ resource guide full of strategies that parents may be considering about desistance.
The reason I have decided to contribute my two cents with my own psychological insight is because I was the kid who is in the position that your children are in.
I want parents to be informed about how their attempts to bring about psychological and ideological desistance from a transgender identity, may be perceived by your children.
The advice I will give comes from my perspective as a young adult who has disembarked from the “trans train” after having spent half of her life hell-bent on pursuing gender transition until the end. Parents who want to extricate their kids from their ‘glitter families’ use many different strategies which they hope will bring about their child’s desistance.
I hope this document will be a helpful guide for parents. Please also check out my Substack for more of my original writing and work.
Without further ado— the document you have all been waiting for:
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